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How to Sleep - page 3

To put another leg on the bed is relatively easier. Because one leg is already on the bed, the crotch of the human body or the thighs are open on an angle of about 90 degrees, which is an unnatural posture, causing a pain in the femoral muscles and the femoral portion that is to be put on the bed. As if it possessed a will of its own, the femoral portion already on the bed will begin to move by itself, sensing the approaching force. If you want to abet this movement, you only have to put the upper half of your body down on the bed supinely. If you lay yourself down so that your occiput lands on the pillow, successive motions will become easier.
You should carefully avoid such a motion as putting your legs down violently together and, at the same time, putting down the upper half of your body on the bed. The force exerted by the legs may bounce the mattress, cause your whole body to turn around and fall down from the other side of the bed, or in the case of a bed that is attached to the wall, produce various incidents such as a crash against the wall, destruction of the wall by the human body, or a breakthrough of the wall by the human body. It may be all right if you are in your own home, but if you are in the hotel or some other place, it will be interpreted as an intrusion into the next room and may lead to the police intervention.
Next, you must slip your legs and body between the sheet and the blanket to maintain your body temperature during sleep. You do not need the following motions if the blanket has already been pulled back at your feet or half-turned; and if you should lie down supinely on a blanket not yet pulled back, the following rather acrobatic motions will be required. First you draw your knees up while lying on your back, then you pull the ankles up to the buttocks, and by a peristaltic movement of the gluteal muscles, and simultaneously by a slight shift of the upper half of your body right and left, you move the lower half of your body to a place near the head of the bed. You must maintain this motion until your buttocks slide up virtually onto the pillow. This motion will bring the parietal portion, or top of your head, to the bottom, turning your head completely upside down, floating your back 30 to 40 cm above the bed, raising your abdomen in a half circle, drawing your head, buttocks and feet ever closer. During this motion, you must pay attention to the position of your arms, that is to say, the arms should be extended sideways and lying on the bed, supporting and keeping the balance of the unstable upper half of your body so that it does not fall to the right or to the left.